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Farm & Forgiveness Part 2 of 2

The Son Who Left Was the Only One Who Wrote

The Son Who Left Was the Only One Who Wrote

Gary was on his feet. "He's been gone forty years, Martin. Forty years."

"I know how long he's been gone," Albrecht said. "Your father signed this in 2019. He was clear about it, and he was clear in his mind." He slid his pocketknife across the desk to Dale. "Go ahead."

Dale cut the tape. He lifted the lid.

The box was full of envelopes, standing on edge in rows, tight as cards in a file. White ones, then blue airmail ones Dale had bought at a drugstore on Halsted, then plain white again. His own handwriting, over and over. Mr. Walter Kessler, Rural Route 2, Alder Springs, Iowa.

Every envelope had been slit along the short end. Every address was whole.

He pulled one from the front. April 1985. On the back, in that same square pencil, someone had written a date. April 22, 85.

He pulled another. October 1991. On the back: Oct 9, 91. Read 2x.

"He wrote down the day he read them," Ruth said. Her voice was small. "Dale, he couldn't hardly write. You know that. Mom did all of it. The checks, the Christmas cards, everything. He quit school in eighth grade to run the farm for Grandpa, and he was ashamed of how he spelled."

Dale held the envelope. He had known it. He had sat at this man's table and watched his mother write out every check while his father signed his name slow and careful at the bottom, like a boy at a blackboard.

He had known it, and in forty years he had never once put it together.

Gary had sat back down. He was staring at the box.

"Those were on the shelf," he said. "Above the cellar door. My whole life, I thought those were feed bills."

"He brought them to me in August," Albrecht said. "In the back of your truck, Gary, while you were at the elevator."

* * *

The first box ran 1985 to 1992. The second ran to 1999. Dale did not count the letters. He knew how many there were.

The third box was lighter. The letters stopped in March 2005, a short one Dale remembered writing at the bus garage on his lunch break, angry, his hand cramping. That's it, Dad. I'm done talking to a mailbox.

Behind it there was nothing but cardboard.

He started to set the lid back on. Then he turned it over.

The inside of the lid was covered in pencil. Small tally marks, grouped in fives, the way his father counted bales on the wagon. Row after row. In the margin, a year was written at the start of each row. 2005. 2006. 2007.

One mark for every month he had walked out to the road and found nothing.

The rows went down the lid and up the side. 2019. 2023. 2025.

The last mark was shorter than the others, and pressed so hard it had nearly gone through.

August.

Dale put his thumb on it.

The radiator knocked twice under the window. Ruth was crying without any sound. Gary had his hand over his mouth.

Dale set the lid down on the table, face up, so they could both see it.

* * *

They drove back to the farm in two trucks. Nobody had said a word about Prairie Ridge.

The kitchen was warm, and Ruth put the coffee on because her hands needed something to do. Gary sat at the end of the table where their father used to sit. He looked older than he had that morning.

"Why sell?" Dale asked him.

Gary rubbed his knee. "Because I can't buy Ruth out. Because I'm fifty-four and I've had both these knees scoped. Because I wasn't going to be the Kessler who lost it to the bank." He looked at the folder still lying by the bread box. "Selling clean seemed better than losing it slow."

"What would you do if you didn't have to sell?"

"Farm it," Gary said, like it was obvious. "What else would I do."

Dale took out his phone and called Martin Albrecht.

When he hung up, Ruth was standing by the stove with the coffeepot in her hand. Gary had not moved.

"Martin's drawing up papers," Dale said. "The ground gets split three ways, even. Gary farms all of it, as long as he wants to. He pays Ruth the going cash rent on her third, so she's taken care of."

"And yours?" Ruth asked.

"Mine stays in the farm account. For tile, or a new roof on that machine shed, or whatever Gary says it needs." Dale shrugged. "I've got a city pension. I don't need rent off Iowa dirt."

Gary's jaw worked. "I don't need charity, Dale."

"It's not charity. It's back wages." Dale looked at him. "You did my chores for forty years."

Gary got up and went to the window. He stood there with his back to them, looking out at the bins.

"You'll call Des Moines yourself," he said finally. "I don't want to hear that man's voice."

"I'll call him."

Gary nodded at the glass. "Then I guess you're staying for supper."

* * *

Gary's grandson Tyler came over after school on Friday to help clean out the cellar. He was ten, all elbows, and he had been told to bring in the mail.

He dropped it on the table, a seed catalog and two bills and a sympathy card, and started to rip the card open across the top.

"Hold on," Dale said. He opened his pocketknife, closed the long blade, and opened the short one. "Like this. Along the end."

Tyler watched him slit the card envelope in one clean pull.

"Why does it matter?"

"So the address stays whole." Dale turned the envelope over and showed him. "So you always know who it came from."

Tyler took the knife, frowning hard, and tried the electric bill. It came out crooked. He tried the next one, slower, and got it right.

At noon on Friday, Dale stood in the yard with his phone and told a polite young man at Prairie Ridge that the Kessler ground was not for sale. The wind came across the stubble while he talked, cold and smelling of dirt, and Gary watched him from the machine shed door the whole time.

* * *

In December, an envelope came to the apartment in Chicago. It was addressed in square, heavy block letters that looked so much like his father's that Dale had to hold it a moment before he saw it was Gary's.

This one did not sit on the counter.

He slit it along the short end with his pocketknife. Inside was a scale ticket from the elevator and half a sheet of tablet paper.

Corn made 208. Ruth's rent is paid. Tyler opens all the mail now and won't let anybody else touch it. Write back. G.

Dale got a pad from the drawer. He wrote the date at the top, the way he used to, and under it, Dear Gary.

โ€” The End โ€”
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